As a conventionally trained GP who has ventured into holistic and functional medicine, my life is constantly balancing. I’m a mother to almost teenage twins, a wife, a full-time professional, and the caretaker of a bustling household with pets. It’s the classic modern-day juggling act, but add perimenopause into the mix, and the stakes get even higher.
Every day, I’m not just treating patients who seek balance in their lives—I’m living the experience of trying to create balance myself. And it isn’t easy.
Perimenopause: The Uninvited Guest
Perimenopause entered my life quietly at first. Subtle changes like erratic sleep, sudden flashes of anxiety, and unpredictable mood swings began to creep in. As a doctor, I had seen countless women experience this, but facing it personally was an entirely different challenge. Suddenly, I found myself in the shoes of my patients, feeling the strain of hormonal shifts while trying to keep up with the daily demands of life.
As a mother to twins nearing their teenage years, every day brings a whirlwind of activity. From school runs to homework, extracurricular activities, and their budding independence, managing their needs while maintaining some semblance of order at home is a feat in itself. And let’s not forget the emotional rollercoaster of parenting teenagers who seem to oscillate between childhood and adulthood.
Then there’s work. My passion for medicine, now extending to holistic and functional approaches, keeps me grounded professionally. I see the value in combining conventional treatments with a more integrative approach, especially for women going through perimenopause. Yet, as much as I pour myself into my work, I realized that I needed to take a step back and look inward—to address the stress and chaos swirling in my own life.
Learning to Prioritize Myself
I learned early on in my perimenopausal journey that stress is a trigger—an accelerant to the physical and emotional upheavals I was already feeling. The anxiety, irritability, and the occasional brain fog seemed to worsen with each stressful day. It became clear that I couldn’t rely solely on medical knowledge to navigate this phase. I needed to adopt the very principles I encourage my patients to follow: holistic, daily self-care.
Here’s how I manage my stress, day by day.
1. Morning Ritual: Setting the Tone for the Day
Mornings in my house are nothing short of chaotic. The kids need breakfast, the pets need attention, and there’s always something I forgot to do the night before. But I’ve found that waking up just 15 minutes earlier gives me a small pocket of peace before the day’s demands take over.
I use this time for a brief mindfulness meditation, focusing on my breath and visualizing the day ahead. These few moments are sacred—they help ground me and remind me to approach the day with calmness. I’ve noticed that if I miss this practice, the whole day feels a little more scattered, more rushed.
I also journal briefly. It’s not an elaborate process; I jot down a few thoughts, gratitude points, or anything that’s weighing on my mind. This practice, though simple, allows me to clear mental clutter and feel more in control before the storm hits.
2. Physical Activity: A Lifeline for Mental Clarity
As a doctor, I know the importance of exercise, but as a woman in perimenopause, I’ve come to rely on it as a lifeline. Between the demands of work, family, and home, finding time to move my body isn’t always easy, but I’ve realized that it’s non-negotiable for me.
My go-to is yoga and strength training. Yoga, particularly in the mornings or evenings, helps me center myself and stretch away the physical tension. It’s also become a metaphor for my life: balance and flexibility, both physically and mentally.
Strength training, which I initially avoided, has become my secret weapon. Lifting weights not only makes me feel strong but helps mitigate the bone and muscle loss that comes with age and hormonal changes. Plus, it’s an incredible stress buster. Even a short 20-minute workout helps release pent-up tension and gives me a boost of endorphins.
3. Nutrition: Fueling My Body with Intention
As I navigate perimenopause, I’ve become more intentional about what I eat. I now understand the profound connection between food and mood, and how certain nutrients (or lack thereof) can either fuel or exacerbate stress. I’ve also learned that in order to handle the constant energy demands from work, kids, and home life, I need to fuel my body properly.
I focus on whole foods that balance my blood sugar and support my hormone health. Protein, healthy fats, and fiber are staples in my meals. I’ve also started incorporating more adaptogens and herbs like maca root, which help support my adrenal health and reduce the physical impact of stress.
A nourishing smoothie packed with greens, protein, and healthy fats is my breakfast go-to. It’s quick, easy, and ensures that I start my day feeling nourished rather than depleted. I’ve also cut back on caffeine, which I know spikes my anxiety and can trigger hot flashes.
4. Setting Boundaries: Saying No to Say Yes to Myself
This has been one of the hardest lessons for me. As a doctor, mother, wife, and friend, I was accustomed to saying “yes” to everyone. I felt like I had to be everything to everyone. But over time, I realized that I was draining myself and leaving very little room for my own needs.
Now, I’m more deliberate about setting boundaries. I don’t overextend myself professionally, and I try not to overschedule our family life. I’ve learned to say no to things that don’t serve my well-being. This doesn’t mean I shirk my responsibilities, but I’ve learned to prioritize what truly matters.
5. Embracing Help: Asking for What I Need
I used to wear my independence as a badge of honor. But perimenopause has taught me that it’s okay to ask for help, whether it’s from my partner, my kids, or even friends. This was a game-changer for my stress levels. I don’t have to do everything myself.
My husband and I have gotten better at dividing household duties, and I’ve started involving my twins more in daily chores. It’s been empowering for them too, and I see it as an opportunity to teach them about responsibility and teamwork. Delegating tasks has allowed me to create more breathing room for myself and reduced the constant feeling of being on the go.
6. Connecting with Nature: Finding Stillness Amid the Chaos
There’s something about being outdoors that helps reset my mind and body. Whenever I can, I take a walk—whether it’s through a nearby park or just around the block. Nature has a way of reminding me to slow down and breathe, even on the busiest days.
Sometimes, I’ll bring the dog along for the walk, and other times I’ll go solo. It’s a space where I can clear my head, listen to my thoughts, and reconnect with myself, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. This simple act has been instrumental in helping me manage the mental load of life’s responsibilities.
7. The Power of Sleep: Prioritizing Rest Over Productivity
Sleep, or lack thereof, is one of the most notorious challenges during perimenopause. Between the night sweats and racing mind, getting quality rest can feel impossible. But I’ve learned that without enough sleep, my stress levels skyrocket, and everything feels more overwhelming.
To combat this, I’ve implemented a nighttime routine that signals to my body it’s time to wind down. I avoid screens, keep the bedroom cool, and indulge in some calming rituals like a warm Epsom bath or sipping herbal tea. I also practice a bit of deep breathing before bed to help quiet my mind.
Sometimes, despite my best efforts, sleep still eludes me. But I’ve learned not to stress about it—stress only makes sleep harder to come by. On those nights, I remind myself that rest can come in other forms, like relaxation or even just lying quietly and allowing my body to recover.
Embracing the Journey, One Day at a Time
Being a doctor going through perimenopause has given me a unique perspective. I understand the science and the medicine behind it, but I’ve also learned that navigating this phase of life requires more than just knowledge. It requires compassion for myself, a willingness to adapt, and an understanding that balance isn’t a fixed destination but something I have to work toward daily.
As a mother, wife, doctor, and woman, I wear many hats, and the demands can often feel overwhelming. But I’ve learned to carve out time for myself, to respect my limits, and to find solace in the little moments of peace. Perimenopause has been both a challenge and a teacher, and it’s led me to embrace a more holistic approach not only for my patients but for myself.
This journey isn’t perfect, and there are days when I still feel the weight of it all. But with the right tools, I’ve learned to manage my stress and keep myself grounded in the midst of life’s chaos. And for that, I’m grateful.
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